Well, here we are deep into Lent and all I have done is shop and drink and neglect wifely and motherly duties. I did fast last Friday, in solidarity with the poor, but my one meatless meal was eaten in a wonderful restaurant and, since it wasn't food, I accepted a few glasses of champagne at the end of the evening at LFWeekend. All while lusting after everything from vintage (original Dior from the '70's!!) sunnies, to Beatrice Ong shoes, Juicy Couture velour tracksuits (which I actually don't even want), and especially the very bikinis I was trying to sell. Except for some very mild hunger, I did not feel like I was showing any support for the poor, neither in prayer nor the sharing of my gifts. When offered a bite of incredible chocolate tart, it was only half-way to swallowing that I remembered my intention to fast. So, while I didn't have another bite, I still got mine.
Since returning to normal life two days ago, I have been trying to redeem myself by cleaning the flat like crazy. Hubby's been a good help with the dishes that built up over the weekend, but the laundry! Oh, the laundry. I must have been behind before I started my fashion fantasy because it is really overwhelming, especially when you consider the completely ridiculous nature of the washer/dryer combo. To wash and dry, it seems to take half a day. If you line dry, the drying rack takes up half the flat. But, it's my job to do the laundry. This is mostly in part because I hate to explain things to people and I really hate to answer questions. An occupational hazard if ever there was one considering I have an uber-curious and interested-in-everything husband, and a five-year-old who can't help but ask questions and require explanations, I mean, he IS five. I chalk it all up to my being an only-child. I've managed to avoid some of the usual pitfalls: I share my toys and don't require or expect everyone's attention all the time. But, I'd rather just do it myself than have to explain, say, where the mop is, or how much coffee to put in the Bialetti, you know? Ugh, I know...
So, back to Lent. Obviously the shopping and casual bubbly quaffing are out. That's a sacrifice I definitely feel. Hubby and Baby have been saying a decade of the Rosary every night and I plan on joining them. Wednesdays and Fridays for abstinence(from meat) and fasting, try to get my ass to a mass during the week, and one more thing: Toast. I hadn't realized it but I have become totally obsessed with toast, with butter and fig conserve or butter and a slice of cheddar. Breakfast, tea time, late night snack--sometimes 6 slices in a day!! And not super healthy whole grain, granary, high fiber biz, either. No lovely sourdough from Poilane, or even a tartine made from yesterday's bakery-fresh baguette. No. What I want is plastic white bread, thick sliced and super-sized. I NEVER buy this at home! I mean, I'm the girl who bakes her own bread and even makes her own yogurt! To assuage some of the crunchy-mom/food snob guilt I buy the white bread with seeds in it. It's not even organic!
So, in order to make the most of the next few weeks before Easter I have decided to give up toast. Also, I will be more patient with my family and their endless questions, and more satisfied with their help around the house, even if it's not the way I would have done it. And I'd better hit the ground running with these, since in 10 days we're off to Italy for 2 weeks (trip to a designer outlet on the itinerary!) and I will have to rejigger and find different means for sacrifice and prayer. The biggest challenge for the next 10 days will be to resist the urge to do the crazy pre-holiday-shop-for a bunch-of-stuff-you'll-never-wear. I am famous for that kind of shopping, and while you may think that after all the clothes and fashiony stuff of the last 2 weeks I'd be sick of it, it's only made me more crazy for it all! Maybe I'll go with that urge to cut bangs and then all my old things will look new? xoxo